Mo's Crazy Crap Collection

Part barman, part lawnboy, part author, all man.
(3% filler)

This should end well…

A facebook friend and former waitress just announced that she is now going to be a stay home mom.

This is a girl who regularly posts about how her cell phone, cable, etc. has been cut off because of no payment.

Now suddenly she’s going to be a stay at home mom.

Ok…

mydrunkkitchen:

I super don’t even need to read this article…

mydrunkkitchen:

I super don’t even need to read this article…

  • A customer mailed in her contract and payment and asked for a call to confirm that the amount she paid was correct.
  • Me: Hi, Mrs. SoAndSo, I got your contract and payment and I just wanted to verify something.
  • Her: Certainly.
  • Me: Now you marked that you wanted the Tree service, is that correct?
  • Her: Absolutely.
  • Me: Ok, because in the amount you wrote out you neglected to include the fee for the tree service. That would make the total $xxxx.
  • Her: What? That's over a hundred dollars more!
  • Me: Well, it's actually seventy dollars more.
  • Her: How can that be?
  • Me: As I said, you neglected to include the payment for tree service. Would you like us to just bill you for it after we perform that service?
  • Her: But I already paid you!
  • Me: Yes, but not for the tree service. The amount you wrote down covered your lawn care, only. You did not include payment for the tree service.
  • Her: But...I already paid you!

nudityandnerdery:

victoryjobs:

who wants to open up a literature-themed bar with me
  • it will be called hemingway’s (natch)
  • our menu will include drinks we invent ourselves based on puns of classic book titles
  • of ice and gin
  • lagerhaus-five
  • absolut, absolut
  • tequila mockingbird
  • etc

Send me some Tumblr mail…

and I’ll write a salacious lie about you on the internet.

GO for it.

Last Names That Make Me Chuckle:

“Chiappetta”

Since people have been asking me IRL

This afternoon/evening I may recount some tails of barfights I’ve been involved in over the years.

At the very least, it will get me writing.

Why does nothing substantial get accomplished in this nation’s government?

Congress is currently passing a bill to ban members of Congress from engaging in insider trading.

So, our Congress is passing a bill to ban it’s own members from doing something that is already illegal to begin with.

This weekend…

I found out that my wife has indeed told the born again Christians at her new church that I don’t attend pre-service bible study (called “flocks groups”) because I am a bartender and get home very late.

They are now praying for me. That’s ever so helpful.

They must not have been praying very hard when the guy tried to make a run at me for throwing a guy out for sneaking into my walk in cooler Saturday night.

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