February 2012
82 posts
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I could feel it in my testicles.
– Me to my wife in regards to how good the cheesecake was at dinner last night.
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Deja Vu
Potential Customer: I would like to get an estimate for lawn care.
Me: Certainly, ma'am. What's your address?
PC: Excuse me?
Me: What's your address, please?
PC: Why would you need that?
Me: To give you the estimate.
PC: I'm not sure I want to give that out.
Me: Well, without that I can't you give you prices for lawncare.
PC: Well, why not?
Me: Because we base our prices off of square footage so I need to know how big your yard is.
PC: Can't you just guess?
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So I’ve decided against getting a tablet. It’d be fun and I’d get a lot of use out of it, but nothing constructive. I have my Droid, I have my Kindle, and I have my iPod.
So I’m shopping for a Boss guitar effect pedal board. Like a tablet, it’s not something that I need, but i could have a lot of fun with it and, since I’m playing in a band again, I can...
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It's all my fault...
Back in October on a Friday, during the first few days of my last lawncare application of the year, I took my guys to lunch. We’re standing in the lobby of this buffet place waiting for all of my employees to assemble when one guy tells me that it’s going to be his last day.
“What?”
“Yeah, I got a call from this place as I was going to work at once we shut down and...
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'Star Trek' And 'Doctor Who' Come Together In... →
“Did you wish really hard?”
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Truthful Tuesday
In second grade my teacher (who didn’t like me very much) wouldn’t let me run to the bathroom despite my adamant claims that I really had to poo.
So I stood in the middle of her classroom and shat my pants.
Like
a
BOSS.
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I have two full length novels available through... →
Yes, I write. Sometimes. Not as often as I should. Regarldess, I have books for sale for Nook e-readers!
Don’t own a Nook? Are you a Kindle person like m’self? NO PROBLEM! You can buy all three of my books and two short stories for your Kindle e-reader here.
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Seriously, guys.
I hate any personal ailment that can’t be cured by masturbation.
Seriously, guys.
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The final chapter, the thrilling conclusion of Our Own Devils. It’s been a long road from the start of this thing oh, so many months ago. But, some of you have actually hung in throughout the whole darn thing! Hopefully this pays off for you!