January 2011
122 posts
Dbag at the bar Saturday night: So do you just wake up and go to work? Is that how your hair looks like that?
Me: Yep. I wake up, your mom tussles it, and then I show up here. She says you don't call often enough.
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I splurged a little this morning.
I stopped at Walmart (because that’s the only store this frakking town of 24,000 people has) and picked up Season 2 of Castle on DVD.
I also bought a new pair of jeans. They are a 32” waist. I haven’t bought jeans with a 32” waist in about 20 years. Yay me.
Now to celebrate at an all you can eat buffet.
i really need to get season two of Castle on DVD.
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i miss my old bar
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at home. Having a Maker’s Mark. eating some popcorn. Wondering where everything went wrong
For the past two weeks, everytime I go to the gym the same lady comes in and takes the machine beside me. Each time she is wearing entirely too much perfume.
I hope it happens again today. Her perfume shall be no match for the odor of alcohol escaping my pores.
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Between me and the couple that just entered my...
Me: Hi, guys. What can I get for you?
Her: Do you have anything free?
Me: ... Water.
Her: oh, well we're just gonna shoot some pool.
Me: Grrrrr
I just had a roasted turkey sandwich. It had white and dark meat. I’ve never had a turkey sandwich with both. I may have to change my pants.
It was that good.
I’ve been doing the P90X Lean program (for the most part, a few modifications here and there) for over three weeks now. The lean program is more cardio and core work, not a lot of weight lifting because I’m wary of my piece of shit/rebuilt shoulder.
My weight has fluctuated all three weeks; one week it’s down, another week it’s up. As of this morning I’m at the...
I remember as a child actually enjoying hard boiled eggs and deviled eggs. Now I can’t stand them.
Not exactly sure when that transition happened, either.
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A Gillient Date
hereforthetennant:
malfoy-maniac:
phoebe-noble:
Saying goodbye to her ex-loverboy when she spots the Scotsman across the room
Flirting
Jamming to music in the car when he whisks her away
Sharing Ice cream
That night
Oh yeaaaah
A surprise guest pops in
omg.
I don’t ship it, but ahahahaha.
The wife saw a car in town today with “TARDIS” license plates. i am envious.
I don’t know what it is. but I love playing the Lego video games on xbox
“Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
– Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
I’ve been trying for a few months to book a Guns N Roses tribute band for my bar. Initially no one called me back. I left them my phone number and email address. The only response I got was an email promoting a Bon Jovi cover band; because you know that’s almost the same thing *facepalm*.
So I’m at it again today, calling different bands. The overwhelming consistency...
“I’ve been a bartender to long to have that many morals.”
– Me, tonight
I took the kids to school, let the wife catch up on sleep, and forced myself to exercise. now I can feel good about doing jack shit for the rest of the day.
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It’s really cold out, my contracts haven’t gone out in the mail yet, and there’s no toilet in my office.
Fuck it. I’m staying home today bitches.
How my wife and I are different
Tonight we saw an ad for “Gnomeo & Juliet”. Naturally, I first think of the Bard and someone doing a re-telling of the class tale.
The wife? She says, “So the Gnome [from the Travelocity commercials] is so popular someone made a movie?”
Yeah, honey. That’s why.
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“I just happened to notice that when black mothers…discipline their...”
– Awkward White Guy Audience member of the Tyra Banks Show
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Truthful Tuesday
I totally forgot about a cub scout meeting tonight. I don’t care all that much; AJ is still stuck at home per the doc’s orders because of his Strep throat, and Gabe isn’t part of the den anymore.
But most importantly, I hate it. I dread it every week. The kids in the den are loud, rude, and obnoxious. They never want to pay attention, participate, or work on what I has set up for...
I just did Core Synergistics on P90X. I hadn’t worked out since Friday and have been shoving cookies and chips in my mouth since Saturday morning.
Why yes, I would like to die. Thank you for asking.
“…and thank you, God, for making me an atheist.”
– Ricky Gervais, wrapping up the Golden Globe Awards
Watchnebraskagasm:
Favorite commercial of all time. Yes, I have a favorite commercial.
When it comes to real life (ie outside of the internet) my identity as a writer is akin to a teen age boy’s closeted sexual identity. I rarely speak of it publicly except for thinly veiled references unless drunk.
But I’ve slowly stared to “come out of the closet”.
I hope none of my gay friends are offended by this reference.
Also, I don’t use the word...
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